What follows is the full narrated text of the award-winning nature mockumentary performed by team Lions and Tigers and Bears (oh my!) for the 2009 Friends for Life Bike Rally annual talent night.
Developed from an original concept created by Wade Borges, Jed Kilbourn and Greg Manuel. Play written and narrated by Mark Kuznicki. Performed by the Lions and Tigers and Bears Players.
<Narrator’s voice: An homage to Sir David Attenborough crossed with Patrick Macnee’s work on the opening credits to the original 1978 Battlestar Galactica series.>
This is the high Savannah of the Bike Rally, one of planet earth’s most verdant and diverse ecosystems. This unique environment supports flora and fauna that have specifically adapted to the opportunities that the Bike Rally presents. These fantastic creatures have developed complex relationships that have evolved over the millennia and resulted in a precarious balance of predator, prey and coexistance.
The daily drama of life and death on the Bike Rally plays out as the various animals gather around the rare watering holes that are found along their migratory routes across the Bike Rally Savannah.
The Bike Rally Bear ambles in from a day of hunting for the sustenance provided by the watering hole. The bear is the gentlest of creatures on the Bike Rally Savannah. They rest immobile and lethargic. They may spend time together in circles, knitting.
Meanwhile, the Birds of Paradise establish themselves around the watering hole. The Bird of Paradise is a beautiful creature, who uses its bright colours and complex nest building behaviours to attract mates. The Bird of Paradise clears his presentation area, then performs a dance to attract the interest of its suitors.
The Bike Rally Gazelle is among the rarest of creatures, its heterosexual habits are unlike most of its cousins on the Savannah, and make them the frequent targets of predatory behaviour of other animals. The gazelles gather nervously around the watering hole, constantly aware that predators may be watching from the surrounding bush. They form a nervous group, curious about the resting bears.
The Saber Toothed Tiger is the top predator of the Bike Rally Savannah. No other animal can take him down and Saber Tooth can take his pick of prey depending on its appetites. The Saber Tooth takes its place at the watering hole oblivious to the presence of other predators.
Bike Rally Lions are highly social and organized predators. They travel in packs, known as Prides, where the females are the dominant hunters and the males lazily form the core of their social units.
As we observe this scene from a safe distance, one of the Bears approaches a primping Bird of Paradise and attacks him from the rear, dragging his prey back to his den.
The lionesses emerge silently from the bush, target their gazelle prey and make their move. One of the lionesses is intercepted by the Saber Tooth Tiger, who drags one of the gazelles away to ravage his kill away from the eyes of competing predators.
The lionesses take their one successful kill back to the pride, which violently consumes the terrorized gazelle, while the rest of the gazelles scatter in fear for their lives.
And so concludes another day of life and death struggle on the Bike Rally Savannah.